Well we finally got to start the series on Sex. We were supposed to start 2 weeks ago but weather issues made me delay. I’ve talked to a lot of Youth Pastors about this and we are pretty much all on the same page. Someone needs to bring this up with students. Most of them aren’t getting this information from their parents or other trusted and safe adult. They are getting all kinds of information about sex from each other and the media. This results in a very distorted view on sex and sexuality. Most of the YPs I talk to plan some kind of sex talk every 2-4 years. I have a major series planned once a year and a single night topic about 6 months out from that. I feel bad that I don’t spend more time dealing with this subject but there are also a lot of other subjects I need to talk about plus presenting a solid Biblical overview on the Gospel. I could talk with my students every single day for hours and not cover everything I really want to.
I have mentioned the statistics that show the shocking hours a day the students have been exposed to sex. Literally thousands of hours of sex by the time they are teens. One night every couple of years isn’t even a drop in that ocean of sex. An entire series barely scratches the surface.
Anyways, last night I focused on sex and sexual purity. I presented 5 major myths that they are having screamed at them on a daily basis.
- Sex is no big deal
- Sex is just physical
- Sex is something everyone is doing
- Sex is unavoidable
- Sex is something God hates
Then I presented the story of sex that the Church tends to present. “………….” Either a bunch of nothing or a bunch of hate.
Finally I showed what God really had to say about sex.
God MADE sex. He wanted it to be fun and frigintastic. He formed up Adam out of the dirt and then said, “he looks lonely” so He goes down to talk to Adam. He says, “Dude I got plan for you that you will LOVE. Now take a little nap and when you wake up you will think you died and went to Heaven … which is admittedly pretty cool since you’re already in paradise with Me.” Then Adam wakes up and sees Eve and is blown away. One of the first commands God gives is to have lots of sex (makes plenty of babies).
The thing is, God put a boundary around sex to make it better. God knows how we are designed and knows that sex is best in a long term committed relationship designed for raising children. We call that marriage.
I explained a bunch of reasons why and then went on to talk about purity. Is it ok to do everything but intercourse? Personally I don’t think so. I explained how even looking at porn can cause problems down the road, but ultimately I put the responsibility of choice on them. If you give a bunch of rules then people are interested in pushing the boundaries of the rules or keeping the exact rule while breaking the intent of the rule. “Don’t lay down with the person you are dating” which of course means it’s ok to have sex before marriage as long as you do it standing up.
I do want to say it is really difficult to talk to students about this. It is troublesome trying to be frank and specific without being vulgar. The whole time I kept hearing myself say words that are full of innuendo. Early on I explained that this was a difficult subject but an important one. I said “This is hard to talk about,” and immediately I thought “why did you have to say ‘hard’?” Do you realize just how much you say that sounds dirty? If not go watch old Bevis and Butthead reruns.
Every try to talk to students about sex? How did you handle it? Were you overly focused on how each word you said could be taken?