It is so true that we bring our past experience with relationships into play with our other relationships. Girls that are abused will often end up in abusive relationships as women. Boys will often become abusers. People that have great relationships with their parents are in a better place to have great relationships with others. This isn’t absolute, but it makes a big difference statistically.
These same traits bleed over into our relationship with God. We talk about Him as our Father. Jesus told us to pray to Him as our Heavenly Father, but when we don’t have a great relationship with our dads it really affects our perspective on God. Even when our dad is pretty awesome he isn’t God and so our perspective on God still gets skew slightly. Sort of like having a scratch on our cornea. Did you know that stars are drawn with points because of vision problems? Yeah true story. The star of David, for example, was designed by someone living in a very dry and sandy place. Scratches from that blowing sand makes stars look like they have elongated points due to damage on the eye. The star doesn’t look different in reality, just the damaged perspective.
Anyways, this is something I have been thinking about. My dad is a really good dad, but that didn’t stop things from affecting my relationship with God. When I was young my dad had to travel a lot. He would often be gone for weeks at a time and then be home for only a couple weeks before being gone again. He also has a problem with his temper. It has gotten better over the years, but I remember getting yelled at over some pretty trivial things.
Now think about that for a bit. I have been. I have come to realize that I really base my relationship with God on my experiences with my dad. I often feel like God is far away for long periods of time then comes around and things are great till He leaves again. Mentally I understand that He doesn’t move. I’m the one that comes and goes but He is faithfully there waiting. I also worry that god is going to explode when I tell Him about my mistakes. Even the small ones. I open the door and a straw wrapper that was on the floor falls out and I let it go. I think about it later and get worried that God is going to start yelling at me. It’s crazy because I know God isn’t like that, but it doesn’t stop.
Just like someone with a scratched cornea probably knows a star is round, not pointed. The saw them before the damage and even hear others tell them about what the starts look like, but to them they see elongated points.
I need to ask God to heal my spiritual eyes.
What about you? How have your past relationship experiences affected the way you see God? Have you thought about it? Do you need healing so you can see Him more accurately?