Ok, so I’m tossing this out there for input. I need help in how I should deal with the youth minister prior to myself. I was taught that when leaving a church we should leave the church. However the minister prior to myself was never given formal training and so apparently has never been taught this. He still lives in town and commutes to his new position about half an hour away. He comes by the office to chat with the secretary and others he might run into a couple times a month. More than that he is in close contact with one of my Youth workers and for a while there it was causing this guy to stop attending the church in favor of going to the previous minister’s new church. The previous minister attends any event such as funerals, weddings, baby showers … and is keeping his friendships strong with the his former Youth.
This has been a real struggle for me with the Youth and adult leaders because I am having difficulty building relationships with many of them because of the ghost of the former minister that refuses to go away. I have gone back to read my ethics books that say this is not good behavior on his part but none of the books suggest how I should deal with it graciously.
I don’t want to burn bridges with this minister but I do need him to realize that he is doing a great deal of harm even if he doesn’t see it.
Anyone dealt with this kind of transition issue? Got any ideas? Maybe I should just keep toughing it out, but I’ve done that for a year now. I would think in that time he should have built up plenty of relationships in his new church to keep him busy. Personally I don’t have enough time to keep up with everything here much less here and at a some former ministry so I think he is also cutting his own throat where he is by not letting go.