A couple weeks ago Makeadiff21 gave me an idea for a top ten list. I quickly wrote out what popped in my head but she added more to it by suggesting I focus on why students are late or couldn’t make it to church. This is, of course, a huge deal and there are some really serious issues here, but mostly I want to deal with the lighter, more fun aspects of these excuses.
#10 – My Parents don’t want to take me
This is probably the number one excuse but I want to get it out of the way quickly because it frustrates me so much. I have heard plenty of parents complain that their kids don’t need church even when the students are begging to go. One parent refuses to let her daughter come to church because her brother has gotten in so much trouble with drugs and crap … um … seriously? So the options are go the church and learn about morality or stay locked in the house with her apparently immoral brother and his drugged up friends and you chose the later because you don’t want her to end up like her brother? No more stupid pills for this parent please.
#9 – I didn’t have a ride
Which is certainly reasonable if we didn’t have a church van to pick you up.
#8 – My dog ate my tires
hey the dog’s gotta get blamed somehow. Plus dogs seem to have it in for tires. Apparently the natural enemy of round rubber objects is the domesticated dog.
#7 – I had homework
I assume this was a surprise assignment that you got today and not a paper that was assigned 2 weeks ago. Also I talked to your teacher and she wants to remind you about another assignment due next month. I assume you will be missing church that week too?
#6 – My friend was visiting from out of town
Apparently this friend isn’t very close or you might be concerned about them going to hell. Either way you should have been in church. #ExcuseFail
#5 – Someone I don’t like started attending
Because church should only have people we like in it.
#4 – My BFF that I used to attend with is neither a “B” nor an “F” anymore
Please see sarcastic response to #5.
#3 – My parents heard you were talking about sex
I totally understand. Lots of parents are anxious to be grandparents.
#2 – There are too many sinners in this youth group
As opposed to the totally holy and sanctified people that Jesus hung out with.
#1 – I forgot
If only you had some kind of device that you could carry in your pocket to make phone calls with, take pictures, sends texts, and remind you what day and time it is? Oh when will we get some sort of useful bit of technology to help us stay organized?