A couple weeks ago Makeadiff21 gave me an idea for a top ten list. I quickly wrote out what popped in my head but she added more to it by suggesting I focus on why students are late or couldn’t make it to church. This is, of course, a huge deal and there are some really serious issues here, but mostly I want to deal with the lighter, more fun aspects of these excuses.
#10 – My Parents don’t want to take me
This is probably the number one excuse but I want to get it out of the way quickly because it frustrates me so much. I have heard plenty of parents complain that their kids don’t need church even when the students are begging to go. One parent refuses to let her daughter come to church because her brother has gotten in so much trouble with drugs and crap … um … seriously? So the options are go the church and learn about morality or stay locked in the house with her apparently immoral brother and his drugged up friends and you chose the later because you don’t want her to end up like her brother? No more stupid pills for this parent please.
#9 – I didn’t have a ride
Which is certainly reasonable if we didn’t have a church van to pick you up.
#8 – My dog ate my tires
hey the dog’s gotta get blamed somehow. Plus dogs seem to have it in for tires. Apparently the natural enemy of round rubber objects is the domesticated dog.
#7 – I had homework
I assume this was a surprise assignment that you got today and not a paper that was assigned 2 weeks ago. Also I talked to your teacher and she wants to remind you about another assignment due next month. I assume you will be missing church that week too?
#6 – My friend was visiting from out of town
Apparently this friend isn’t very close or you might be concerned about them going to hell. Either way you should have been in church. #ExcuseFail
#5 – Someone I don’t like started attending
Because church should only have people we like in it.
#4 – My BFF that I used to attend with is neither a “B” nor an “F” anymore
Please see sarcastic response to #5.
#3 – My parents heard you were talking about sex
I totally understand. Lots of parents are anxious to be grandparents.
#2 – There are too many sinners in this youth group
As opposed to the totally holy and sanctified people that Jesus hung out with.
#1 – I forgot
If only you had some kind of device that you could carry in your pocket to make phone calls with, take pictures, sends texts, and remind you what day and time it is? Oh when will we get some sort of useful bit of technology to help us stay organized?
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Woot and eww
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Hey God, can we get an extra day in the week
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What about “I’m too tired.” After all, I was on FB chat, texting & surfing the internets until 2 am and that’s exhausting….
Great list, Nick!
Yeah I want to skip when I’m too tired form tweeting all night. Nasty habit.
Haha this was funny to read lol the only one I can think to be guilty of is #9 but you know my ride situation lol. It’s because my dog ate the tires lol
Yeah but despite your ride situation you make it more than many, if not most.
in regards to #7 – if you’re talking Wednesday night youth service, it really could be. I was lucky by the time I hit highschool I was in a christian school that had a no homework on wednesday policy – but I remember 5th grade, my math teacher routinely sent us home with a ton of math homework that we did not have time to do in class, and my dad would go on up to church and my mother would stay home with me to talk me through the homework because by that point I was crying about being late to church because of the homework, which wasn’t real conducive to finishing it either…
so point being – #7 can be true – at least regarding Wednesday nights…
(then again I was an odd child… my parents almost grounded me from youth group once – not because they thought it was bad (not at all – half the time before then my parents were my sunday school teachers and everything else, my dad even worked with the youth himself for a while), but because it was really the only social life I had and thus the only thing they could actually ground me from)
You’re right. There are some teachers that create absurd amounts of homework all the time, but most students I know that have used this excuse just didn’t plan ahead.
… I didn’t know they were open on a Sunday.
I forgot about that. I swear 95% of my students must think church is closed on Sunday.
You forgot to add one that I heard all the time in youth group. “My favorite TV show is on during that time.” I guess this one has faded out now that there is DVR but it was still an excuse.
I haven’t been to church in two weeks though since we’ve been moving.
Honestly I’m not sure how much TV my students watch. They talk abut shows from time to time but I think most of them Hulu over DVR.
Yep. I hear the “Parents don’t want to take me excuse” al the time. I have 9 yos, so the others don’t really apply. I tell them to examine their own hearts to determine if they really did the best they could to honor both God and their parents. If the answer is yes, to remind them that God reads their hearts and know that. (they are 9 yos….they are not coming on their own…) If the answer is not really, then I guide them to times and television stations they can view the Mass on t.v. While these programs are meant for “shut ins”, I figure kids obeying parents and staying home should qualify.
*sigh* yeah it is frustrating to deal with parents, but I try to show them the kind of respect I want their kids to show them. It can be very hard.