Dress like a Youth Pastor Part IV: A New Accessory

If you don’t get the title then you aren’t a sci-fi geek, don’t feel bad you can learn to love and laugh at all things sci-fi if you really work hard.

So this is the 4^th installment of how to dress like a Youth pastor. I will be talking about accessories, but be warned that I really don’t accessorize, so expect just a bit more sarcasm than previous posts.

Belts:

The first line of accessories are belts. If your pants slip and fall then buy a belt. You may be tempted to go with suspenders but trust me, those won’t score nearly as many cool points as you might be thinking. Unless you live in Texas the super huge belt buckle won’t either. Personally I own 2 belts. One is for work, as in labor, and the other is for all other occasions. I’d like to buy more belts because they have lots of cool choices right now. I just keep spending my belt money on silly things like feeding my family. Sorry.

Carry bags (aka the man purse):

If you are carrying a purse then you might want to consider a career in music. Seriously. Now if it is a laptop bag then you are doing much better. The trick is to keep only laptops and office type equipment in this bag. The second you start keeping your wallet, keys, and other pocket type items in the bag you have escalated to a man purse.

Cell Phone:

Cell phones are rated based on the total number of features with ease of texting being the single biggest feature. If you have a phone with a sliding or flip out qwerty keyboard your youth will think you are cool and the adults will think you are important. That is all you really need to know. Of course if the phone is larger than your hand and isn’t a smart phone like the iPhone, then it is time to trade up, even if it has a full-sized keyboard attached. Of course, my phone is a flip phone because I love to pretend I’m on Star Trek. I’m a geek though so it’s ok. The only other thing to remember when it comes to your phone is that you can’t use the stock ringtones and graphics. Find something that is uniquely you but not overly preachy. You students will walk away the first time they see you in Wal-Mart and hear “Amazing Grace” playing from your hip.

(edit from original)

I have since upgraded to a BlackBerry. I did it because I needed my brain for other useful information. Life has become much better since. The youth love it.

Other accessories:

I really want one of those leather wrist straps (sounds more manly than bracelet), but I’m not sure I can pull off the look. It is very important that you can look cool when wearing cool accessories otherwise you look like a dork that is trying to pull of the cool look. Imagine Steve Urkel trying to dress up like Eddie and you’ll have some idea of what you actually look like. This applies to all articles of clothing but accessories amplify this truth.

Here’s hoping I’ll be able to pull off the leather wrist strap look before they aren’t cool. I’m starting with leather strap watches and just going with wider and wider straps until I ditch the watch face all together. Tomorrow I’ll be wrapping this up with head wear.