Serious Break

Right now I am torn about what to write about. I have so much left to talk about my vacation and I also have a huge recap post for King’s Fest but I have really been feeling a burden the past week or so and I need to talk about that.

This really isn’t a new burden but lately it has really been pressing hard on me. I am up late into the night, awake in the middle of the night, up early in the morning, and consumed with it all day long lately. I am constantly reminded of this and brought to the verge of tears regularly.

The burden is my teens. I am always worried for them, for their poor decision making habits, for the seeming lack of interest in holiness, for all the things I cannot change, and for their relationships with parents.

I keep getting the same stories. So many live in houses that are not homes. They live with adults that are not parents.

The people that should be parents fail to see just how much it hurts when they worry too much about being a friend, or use hurtful things to make their “child” behave. I see my students hurting time and time again with the same thoughts. No one cares.

I go to them and let them know I care. I don’t just offer them empty words but I dedicate my time to listen to them and pray with them. I try to never say “I’ll pray about that,” because I’ll forget. I know myself well enough to know that. Instead I ask them if we can pray and then we do. Increasingly they see that I do genuinely care, but there is just not enough of me.

I cannot be what the parents need to be. I just don’t have the time to be that for 50+ students. I honestly don’t know what to do.

Our church is seriously struggling right now. The youth is growing is leaps and bounds but the rest of the church is atrophying. I have a few workers and they are doing an amazing job, but I need more. Right now the church is drowning financially because of some selfish individuals that caused a church split. They caused significant harm to the church and to my youth.

I am full of worry and anger and I see a need that is far to big for me.

Right now I need prayer. My church needs prayer. My students need prayer.

Please don’t tell me you are going to pray, instead take a moment right now to pray. If you can remember, or if you have a prayer list then please use that as well.