Almost 12 years ago I married the love of my life. We had been dating for 4 years and we were both so very young. I was 20 and my bride was 19. Just a couple of weeks before our wedding she picked her mom up from school (her mom is a teacher) and school officials tried making her ride home on the bus thinking she was a student. If this were a high school that might seem reasonable, but since this was an elementary school that seems quite disturbing.
I had 3 years of college under my belt and several counseling classes at Marriage Therapy Boulder CO, so I know everything I needed to know, of course. Well, ok I might have known that there were still things to learn, so we went through premarital counseling. The sessions were great and I knew we were now fully prepared for marriage. Funny how your perspective changes the first time life falls apart, and trust me, it really does.
About two years ago I met a young lady for the first time. She was a junior in high school at that time and I got her name wrong before she even told me. I had thought she was someone else, but hey I had only been in town for a short time, so I was still getting to know a lot of people. Over the past two years I have taught her and tried to set a good example for her. She had many ups and downs, but in general she has grown in Christ more and more.
Then she shocked me by asking me to officiate her wedding. I was completely unprepared. I have officiated a few weddings, but this is the first student of mine that has come to this point in life. Of course I didn’t believe her for the longest time. Finally I guess my will relented and I accepted that she was telling the truth about getting married, so I started planning counseling with her and her fiancé.
I hope and pray that I can give them the same tools that my wife and I had, moreover I hope I can help them to see that no amount of studying can prepare for the tests life gives. I know when my wife and I went through the worst that we have endured so far, nothing I had learned before could have made it any easier.
The biggest thing I hope and pray for them is that the day they get married be the day of their marriage they love each other the least. That each day they would grow deeper in love.
What advice would you give a young couple getting married?
Wedding Album
Why do people gotta be jerks
Relativity in Practice
Hey God, can we get an extra day in the week
Accountability and Confrontation: A Challenge to Love
As newly married, I would say: Accept that life will change. Accept it before you get married. This doesn’t mean you won’t have fun, it just means some of the activities you did in your youth probably shouldn’t continue.
I always say marriage will be work. There will be times when you don’t want to stay. There will even be times when vows may be broken. But do the difficult. Do the work. Work through together. Don’t be afraid to seek and accept professional help. It’s just a season. It’s what you committed to and promised before God. He will have lessons to teach you and they will be worth learning.
This I know. I’ve been married to my highschool sweetheart since 1973. You do the math.