To that end I will be updating this post throughout the day with my thoughts on patience.

Thought One: Patience is a Virtue

Whenever I think of Patience this is the first thing that comes to my mind. The second though I always have is that it is a virtue I do not have. I try to be patient but I just can’t focus that long. If I have to wait for something I tend to either forget about it or obsess over it. I can see how it would be virtuous. Whether I am waiting at the DMV or am talking to one of my students patience would serve me well. I start off doing well but I tend to get distracted and forget why I need to be patient. I start thinking ahead and about other things. I get frustrated and eventually exasperated.

Thought Two: Patience is Earned

I wish it could be bought or given. I use to think that maybe God would just grant patience if you pray for it. I made that mistake and learned my lesson. When you pray for patience, then God seeks to teach you patience. Expect to wait for EVERYTHING until you find serenity while waiting or beg for mercy in your foolish request. Well, I assume that once you’ve learned patience God eases up the lessons. I didn’t make it that far.

Thought Three: There are No Shortcuts

It is just like getting in shape. Sure there are a millions products on tv that claim to make getting in shape easy. Pills, dieting secrets, exercise videos, weird exercise equipment, and even devices that electrocute your muscles. These things and more fill the garages and attics of overweight and easily winded people around the country. Promises of an easy way to get in shape that never panned out. Patience is the same. There are probably all manner of books and sermons that promise to teach the secret to patience. Unless they share this simple truth they are a sham. To find patience in your life you must endure suffering.

Thought Four: SERENITY NOW!!!!

I never liked Seinfeld. There I’ve said it. Please don’t judge me. Despite not liking the show I have not been able to escape it. It has become part of out culture and I can quote many lines form the series that I never watched. I know that there is an episode where Frank Costanza is yelling “Serenity Now” for some reason. I don’t know but I assume that he is trying to bring peace into his life for some reason. It amuses me because this is a great example of trying to get patience by following some simple process. I also assume that it failed because it is Seinfeld.

Real patience comes from Peace which we find in God.

Thought Five: Patience Probably isn’t What You Think

I should have put this first. After you read this go back and read everything else and see if that changes what the rest means. I wanted to put it first, but then I decided that I wanted people to read the other thoughts throughout this day with their own framework (I know a fancy German word for this but it would be silly to use it unless I just wanted to sound smart).

Most of us think of patience within the realm of waiting patiently. Maybe you are waiting for something big, like a job, a child, good news from the doctor … It really tests your perception of patience, and to be honest it is close to the truth of what patience is. Patience is about enduring hardship. Look up the word in a dictionary if you don’t believe me. We water down words to the point that we don’t know what they mean any more. Some older English Bibles use the phrase “long suffering” where newer Bibles say “Patience.” I have struggled with this myself on many occasions.

I feel pressed because I have to wait on things, but that isn’t really a test of my patience. Enduring with “people of God” pushes the limits of my patience though. I struggle back and forth between the real meaning of the word and my preconceived notion of what patience means.

Now go back and read my thoughts under this idea of patience being about enduring hardship. Look at your own life and ask if maybe you have more patience than you thought.

This is my final thought on this. If you viewed this blog early in the day that I originally posted it you would have found an incomplete post with a few thoughts. Ever 3 hours or so I updated with a new thought until all five thoughts were posted.

Just out of curiosity, for those that saw the less than complete post, how often did you check back? What did you think of my little play on the theme?

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Lust is a powerful emotion that can destroy the most powerful man. Certainly lust is not confined to the relationship between a man and woman, but it seems to be the most clear expression of this affliction. Lust is overpowering and overwhelming so it is no wonder that so many have fallen to its whims.

The question, then, is this: when you are in the throws of lust how do you escape? Of course this is not a simple matter. Ask any young couple that has been alone for too long and you will hear, if they are brave enough to answer, about failed battles with lust. It seems, then, that overcoming lust is all about being on the offense.

By proactively planning one might avoid the battle and thus win a mighty victory. Certainly Gideon would have loved to take on the philistine army directly and win, but he knew that the math was not on his side in the slightest. God took him on a different route and he did not fight the battle at all, but one a mighty victory.

Had David been busy with his responsibilities he would have never caved to lust when he saw Bathsheba on the roof. Countless teen pregnancies would be avoided if students planned their time together wisely instead of trusting their own strength of will to avoid temptation.

In short, if you wish to overcome a battle with lust, whether it be sexual or in another form, then learn from the failings of millions. Do not enter the strong hold of lust, look the other way, think on Godly things, and seek wisdom. In avoiding the battle you will find victory.

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For one human being to love another that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks; the ultimate, the last test and proof; the work for which all other work is but preparation.

~Rainer Maria Rilke

Love is eternal where lust is temporary. This is a plain and apparent fact as easily seen as the nose on my face, which is quite noticeable from even a great distance. The problem comes when one confuses love and lust. Often people claim to be “in love” only to “fall out of love,” but in truth they were “in lust” which is as easy to fall in to as it is to fall out of. Consider the relationship between a parent and child. This should be our basis for understanding love because it is our first experience with love. Each party must fail severely and often before love might fail. Parents who truly love their children do so regardless of the choices the child has made and regardless of how painful those choices might be. Often terrible parents are loved by their children regardless of how much it hurts for that love to not be returned. Imagine if all relationships were so pursued.

Since love will always outlast lust, the lover must take time for lust to fade so that love might grow just as a great tree must grow slowly until the weeds around it die and it can be in full sun and grow great and true; then nurture that love through respect and care. Only after those first joys of lust have passed will a couple experience true love in their relationship, the kind of love that exists beyond the hurt and pain.

It is also true that love is patient and perseveres in all things. This is why waiting for love is the only way a relationship may endure. Often a person says to another, “If you love me you will …” but the truth is that if love exists, it will be patient and forgiving. Lust demands instant gratification where love will carry through to the end. Lust is a sprinter that expends all his energy in seconds while Love is in a marathon race and she knows to keep an even pace throughout so she will not tire too quickly or stumble in the many rough places along the way.

This is why so many relationships fail, love gets confused with lust. When those feelings of joy and giddiness fade the energy of lust is spent while love is just getting started. Love must be given time to grow in the absence of lust or it will never reach its maturity. This is a difficult process because lust is passionate and intense driving a couple to spend time together where love is kind and gentle liberating a couple to their own interests. In this, individuals growing in love must overcome themselves and spend time with their love so they might experience a deeper understanding of love. If the lover were to say to the beloved, “I just do not love you anymore,” the lover is lost in confusion. The lover meant to say, “I no longer lust after you.” Love is an endless ocean and lust is a desert wash. The rain will cause the wash to overflow and rage intensely but once the water has flown into the ocean the wash cracks with the desert heat. Follow the water into the ocean and love will never run dry.

In this season of love, consider that love gives while lust takes. Take the time to seek out the gifts of love. The gifts of love are not available at the store but can only be found in time, empathy, and compassion. These true gifts thrive in love but suffocate in lust. When you look into those special eyes and say, “I love you” please do not lie to your heart.

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We tend to think that inviting people to church is the solution, and what’s worse we end up spending most of our time inviting people from other churches to our church so our church will grow. Think about it. It is much easier to invite a Christian to your church than a non-Christian. It is also easier to invite a non-Christian than to lead them to Christ yourself. This is the way the church acts as if it is growing when it is really full of cancer and is wasting away … at least in America.

Now what does this have to do with sex? Well think about this. If we make sex the goal, then lots of weird things happen. A single person starts chasing people to have sex with. Awkward dates lead to sex sure, but there is the anxieties leading up to, during, and after. Does this person like me? Are they willing to sleep with me? What do they think of the way I look naked? Are they enjoying this? They aren’t really saying anything. It all leads up to “so was it good for you?” Now this might be slightly alleviated in a marriage relationship, but even then these issues show up if sex is the goal.

Now compare this to inviting people to church. We try to look around and listen for someone to invite. Then we start sweating and nervously invite them. If they say yes we are almost shocked at we spit out the time and place. That morning we dress better and show up early when we are always late. Then we wait and think, “they aren’t coming.” When they finally show up we worry through the service. We watch them and try to figure out if they are having a good time. We try to help them avoid the sweaty hugger during the meet and greet. Are they bored? Did they get the joke? Is the worship to weird? Is the pastor performing? After it is all said and done, “so was it good for you?” Ok we might say, “so what did you think,” but I figure it is about the same.

So how do we fix this? Well with sex, if we focus on the relationship and build a strong healthy marriage then sex becomes a frigintastic benefit. It is great and something that can really draw a couple even closer. I think church is the same. What if we stopped thinking of church as the solution? What if we stopped inviting people to church? What if we started building relationships with people and helping them find Christ? Then Church becomes this amazing benefit to being a Christian. The community of faith will strengthen our walk as a Christian.

Ok, so here is the shirt,

This blog was written for the Blog Carnival at BridgetChumbly.com

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This year had brought quite a bit of grief to myself and dear friends and family. My grandmother died on my mother’s birthday this year. I don’t know if I would survive that. I was asked to speak at the funeral and that was the hardest speaking experience I have ever had.

Grief speaks of loss, but sometimes it is hard to figure out what the loss really is. I grieved my grandma, but I never really knew her. I think I grieved no knowing her and never getting that opportunity more than losing her. I was raised in the military so I might have seen her an average of one week a year. My dad’s mother died when he was a boy and my mom’s dad died when I was a boy. I met my dad’s dad like 3 times in my life for a total of a few hours. He died 3 years ago. When my grandma died I also lost my history. I have friends with great grandparents they knew and spent time with regularly. I felt like my anchor had been pulled up leaving me adrift.

When I think of grief my head spins, because you can’t really feel grief unless you are attached. The problem is we tend to be attached by many threads so when those threads are cut the grief is amplified because it comes from too many directions.

I don’t like to write about grief because it reminds me of all those severed threads, but it also serves to remind me that when the world is spinning out of control that there is a rock that doesn’t move.

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