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	<title>
	Comments on: Why do people gotta be jerks	</title>
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	<link>https://nickgeek.com/why-do-people-gotta-be-jerks/</link>
	<description>A Husband, Father, Youth Pastor, Geek, and Jesus Freak</description>
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		<title>
		By: Nick the Geek		</title>
		<link>https://nickgeek.com/why-do-people-gotta-be-jerks/#comment-952</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Nick the Geek]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Feb 2010 16:01:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://nickgeek.com/?p=852#comment-952</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[In reply to &lt;a href=&quot;https://nickgeek.com/why-do-people-gotta-be-jerks/#comment-951&quot;&gt;Sherry Meneley&lt;/a&gt;.

I have been known to drop some serious guilt when people get like that during worship. I don&#039;t mean to do it, but I can&#039;t stand the irreverence to God. I hold back from what I want to say though.

I am praying for both of the girls. They both need something special from God.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://nickgeek.com/why-do-people-gotta-be-jerks/#comment-951">Sherry Meneley</a>.</p>
<p>I have been known to drop some serious guilt when people get like that during worship. I don&#8217;t mean to do it, but I can&#8217;t stand the irreverence to God. I hold back from what I want to say though.</p>
<p>I am praying for both of the girls. They both need something special from God.</p>
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		<title>
		By: Sherry Meneley		</title>
		<link>https://nickgeek.com/why-do-people-gotta-be-jerks/#comment-951</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Sherry Meneley]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Feb 2010 15:46:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://nickgeek.com/?p=852#comment-951</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Something has got to be in the air...  A sweet Christian girl started bringing her non-believer friend to Youth Group.  Suddenly the non-believer gal hooks up with some older kids and for whatever reason (I can&#039;t tell) she is now popular...and has left her Christian friend in the dust.  Not only dust, but now has become a bully towards her.
Guess who isn&#039;t coming to Youth Group anymore?  That&#039;s right the Christian girl.
It&#039;s such a shame...  We really want the non-believer to stay..even though she is a trouble maker – but I want the other girl back too (and I am reaching out to her).  The whole thing causes me grief.  I&#039;m reading your other commenters advice hoping to see something that will work.  I guess the only thing I see is bringing the situation out into the open by talking about it.
PS:  we also have a group of kids that mock others that raise their hands during worship - honestly I get thoughts of beating kids during those moments.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Something has got to be in the air&#8230;  A sweet Christian girl started bringing her non-believer friend to Youth Group.  Suddenly the non-believer gal hooks up with some older kids and for whatever reason (I can&#8217;t tell) she is now popular&#8230;and has left her Christian friend in the dust.  Not only dust, but now has become a bully towards her.<br />
Guess who isn&#8217;t coming to Youth Group anymore?  That&#8217;s right the Christian girl.<br />
It&#8217;s such a shame&#8230;  We really want the non-believer to stay..even though she is a trouble maker – but I want the other girl back too (and I am reaching out to her).  The whole thing causes me grief.  I&#8217;m reading your other commenters advice hoping to see something that will work.  I guess the only thing I see is bringing the situation out into the open by talking about it.<br />
PS:  we also have a group of kids that mock others that raise their hands during worship &#8211; honestly I get thoughts of beating kids during those moments.</p>
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		<title>
		By: Nick the Geek		</title>
		<link>https://nickgeek.com/why-do-people-gotta-be-jerks/#comment-950</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Nick the Geek]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Feb 2010 15:07:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://nickgeek.com/?p=852#comment-950</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[In reply to &lt;a href=&quot;https://nickgeek.com/why-do-people-gotta-be-jerks/#comment-945&quot;&gt;Nic at Nite&lt;/a&gt;.

A sinner is not a bad person though. If they were bad then why would God want to redeem them?

I have seen these students do some very kind things. I tend to think they are acting out their own pain much like you have to struggle against doing so with your own wife and kids. If you have a bad day at work and come home and make a snide remark to your wife and it hurts her feelings, does that make you a bad person?

I was bullied all the time as a kid. I look back now and I feel for the kids that picked on me. I know most of them, if not all of them, were lost. I know they didn&#039;t get the love that I did. I know they weren&#039;t bad people.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://nickgeek.com/why-do-people-gotta-be-jerks/#comment-945">Nic at Nite</a>.</p>
<p>A sinner is not a bad person though. If they were bad then why would God want to redeem them?</p>
<p>I have seen these students do some very kind things. I tend to think they are acting out their own pain much like you have to struggle against doing so with your own wife and kids. If you have a bad day at work and come home and make a snide remark to your wife and it hurts her feelings, does that make you a bad person?</p>
<p>I was bullied all the time as a kid. I look back now and I feel for the kids that picked on me. I know most of them, if not all of them, were lost. I know they didn&#8217;t get the love that I did. I know they weren&#8217;t bad people.</p>
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		<title>
		By: Nick the Geek		</title>
		<link>https://nickgeek.com/why-do-people-gotta-be-jerks/#comment-949</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Nick the Geek]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Feb 2010 15:03:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://nickgeek.com/?p=852#comment-949</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[In reply to &lt;a href=&quot;https://nickgeek.com/why-do-people-gotta-be-jerks/#comment-944&quot;&gt;Helen&lt;/a&gt;.

Good advice. I can see a little Hungarian Helen bringing the pain. I&#039;m surprised anyone would keep pushing for your ire.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://nickgeek.com/why-do-people-gotta-be-jerks/#comment-944">Helen</a>.</p>
<p>Good advice. I can see a little Hungarian Helen bringing the pain. I&#8217;m surprised anyone would keep pushing for your ire.</p>
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		<title>
		By: Nick the Geek		</title>
		<link>https://nickgeek.com/why-do-people-gotta-be-jerks/#comment-948</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Nick the Geek]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Feb 2010 15:02:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://nickgeek.com/?p=852#comment-948</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[In reply to &lt;a href=&quot;https://nickgeek.com/why-do-people-gotta-be-jerks/#comment-943&quot;&gt;jasonS&lt;/a&gt;.

I have talked with all of them but not the kinda deep stuff that would help. I think I need to build that relationship so I can know how they will respond and help them.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://nickgeek.com/why-do-people-gotta-be-jerks/#comment-943">jasonS</a>.</p>
<p>I have talked with all of them but not the kinda deep stuff that would help. I think I need to build that relationship so I can know how they will respond and help them.</p>
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		<title>
		By: Nick the Geek		</title>
		<link>https://nickgeek.com/why-do-people-gotta-be-jerks/#comment-947</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Nick the Geek]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Feb 2010 15:00:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://nickgeek.com/?p=852#comment-947</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[In reply to &lt;a href=&quot;https://nickgeek.com/why-do-people-gotta-be-jerks/#comment-942&quot;&gt;Alissa&lt;/a&gt;.

This is more along the lines of what I think I&#039;ll be doing. I need to build a better relationship with all of them anyways.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://nickgeek.com/why-do-people-gotta-be-jerks/#comment-942">Alissa</a>.</p>
<p>This is more along the lines of what I think I&#8217;ll be doing. I need to build a better relationship with all of them anyways.</p>
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		<title>
		By: Nick the Geek		</title>
		<link>https://nickgeek.com/why-do-people-gotta-be-jerks/#comment-946</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Nick the Geek]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Feb 2010 14:58:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://nickgeek.com/?p=852#comment-946</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[In reply to &lt;a href=&quot;https://nickgeek.com/why-do-people-gotta-be-jerks/#comment-941&quot;&gt;jasonthebaldguy&lt;/a&gt;.

I looked at the program. It appears to be targeted to a younger audience though. I have access to many great programs that are more appropriate for a younger audience through an agency I work with in town. Older students might respond to a program like this, but more than likely they will mock it with their friends while wishing they could respond to it without being mocked.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://nickgeek.com/why-do-people-gotta-be-jerks/#comment-941">jasonthebaldguy</a>.</p>
<p>I looked at the program. It appears to be targeted to a younger audience though. I have access to many great programs that are more appropriate for a younger audience through an agency I work with in town. Older students might respond to a program like this, but more than likely they will mock it with their friends while wishing they could respond to it without being mocked.</p>
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		<title>
		By: Nic at Nite		</title>
		<link>https://nickgeek.com/why-do-people-gotta-be-jerks/#comment-945</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Nic at Nite]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Feb 2010 14:48:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://nickgeek.com/?p=852#comment-945</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Nick, I&#039;ll have to disagree when you say, &quot;I’m really torn because I know the kids that are causing the problem aren’t actually bad kids&quot;

They&#039;re causing problems but they&#039;re not bad?  They&#039;re sinning, regardless of what is going on in their life they still have the opportunity to do what&#039;s right.

I know how you feel, you want to be with them, hug them and tell them it&#039;ll be okay.  I guess it starts with finding out what the deep issues are.  The Holy Spirit is the perfect counselor.  Listen to what He says and translate that to the problem youth.

I was bullied a lot in middle school.  With a name like Charlie Chang and Asian it was hard NOT to be bullied.  I cried a lot.  Now I have to work on not bullying my wife or kids.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Nick, I&#8217;ll have to disagree when you say, &#8220;I’m really torn because I know the kids that are causing the problem aren’t actually bad kids&#8221;</p>
<p>They&#8217;re causing problems but they&#8217;re not bad?  They&#8217;re sinning, regardless of what is going on in their life they still have the opportunity to do what&#8217;s right.</p>
<p>I know how you feel, you want to be with them, hug them and tell them it&#8217;ll be okay.  I guess it starts with finding out what the deep issues are.  The Holy Spirit is the perfect counselor.  Listen to what He says and translate that to the problem youth.</p>
<p>I was bullied a lot in middle school.  With a name like Charlie Chang and Asian it was hard NOT to be bullied.  I cried a lot.  Now I have to work on not bullying my wife or kids.</p>
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		<title>
		By: Helen		</title>
		<link>https://nickgeek.com/why-do-people-gotta-be-jerks/#comment-944</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Helen]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 04 Feb 2010 18:11:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://nickgeek.com/?p=852#comment-944</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[I don&#039;t work with teenagers.  Please forgive me if this sounds oversimplistic.   Can you ask them WHY they did it?   Perhaps they don&#039;t even know, but then you could kindly mention that you want them (the bully) to feel God&#039;s love and welcoming embrace in your group, but that you want the same for the other (the bullied) and that you need their cooperation to achieve that.
Maybe it is a hokey idea.  But that&#039;s all I&#039;ve got.
Oh yes, I was bullied.  I was constantly fighting back.   Don&#039;t ever believe that all you have to do to stop a bully is fight back.   I&#039;m not sorry I did.  I don&#039;t believe things would have gone better if I didn&#039;t.   But fighting back is no Panacea..]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I don&#8217;t work with teenagers.  Please forgive me if this sounds oversimplistic.   Can you ask them WHY they did it?   Perhaps they don&#8217;t even know, but then you could kindly mention that you want them (the bully) to feel God&#8217;s love and welcoming embrace in your group, but that you want the same for the other (the bullied) and that you need their cooperation to achieve that.<br />
Maybe it is a hokey idea.  But that&#8217;s all I&#8217;ve got.<br />
Oh yes, I was bullied.  I was constantly fighting back.   Don&#8217;t ever believe that all you have to do to stop a bully is fight back.   I&#8217;m not sorry I did.  I don&#8217;t believe things would have gone better if I didn&#8217;t.   But fighting back is no Panacea..</p>
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		<title>
		By: jasonS		</title>
		<link>https://nickgeek.com/why-do-people-gotta-be-jerks/#comment-943</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[jasonS]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 04 Feb 2010 16:32:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://nickgeek.com/?p=852#comment-943</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Hmmm, that&#039;s a really tough one. It&#039;s so individualized what people will respond to. Some would respond to your sharing your disappointment. Others would respond to consequences being placed on them, and so on. I don&#039;t know how well you actually know these guys, but maybe you can figure out what would make them think about their actions (as much as teenagers are able, of course).]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Hmmm, that&#8217;s a really tough one. It&#8217;s so individualized what people will respond to. Some would respond to your sharing your disappointment. Others would respond to consequences being placed on them, and so on. I don&#8217;t know how well you actually know these guys, but maybe you can figure out what would make them think about their actions (as much as teenagers are able, of course).</p>
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