Comments on: Too hard on myself?

By: Nick the Geek

Nick the Geek — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 21:05:00 +0000

In reply to Nick the Geek. I would have liked to talk to him. Unfortunately he had left before I was finished preaching. I hope I have the opportunity to speak with him.

By: Nick the Geek

Nick the Geek — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 21:02:34 +0000

In reply to Nic at Nite. I agree and that is what one of my leaders told me after the fact. I know that there are times that Jesus showed a propensity for righteous anger, but most of the time he used love and relationship to help people. The few times he reacted with indignation was against those who were prideful in their supposed holiness. I am working hard to react more like him.

By: Nick the Geek

Nick the Geek — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 21:00:22 +0000

In reply to Helen. Thanks for the advice. I should have done something more like that, and I need to work out how to signal my leaders to ask the student to step out. How do you do it?

By: Jeff

Jeff — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 16:47:13 +0000

Two students were shouting racial slurs to be funny in my YG in Florida. I asked them nicely to stop a couple of times, then I told them nicely that they needed to leave. Although I was right in removing them, I was wrong in how I did it. They were embarrassed and angry and never returned.

Since then, I have chosen not to publicly dismiss anyone, which is hard, because I just want to react and get it done. I have youth leaders that will take a student out for me – that sounds like assassination, doesn’t it? – if the need arises. I will say, though, that if one of my leaders tries to remove a student, and he doesn’t go, the public dismissal is back on with as much grace as I can muster.

By: Helen

Helen — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 13:23:09 +0000

While I agree that asking him to leave a little more privately may have been better, or even a signal to a leader to do that for you so you wouldn’t have to interrupt yourself at all, you are only human. You can’t do everything perfectly. This person was being disrespectful and had no trouble doing that publicly. Perhaps being called out publicly was what he needed. It’s not like he was quietly passing notes or just smirking. His belligerence was a public act. Your reaction was as well. While I can see that you may wish you had modeled a different response for him, you did not react wrongly, in my opinion.

By: Nic at Nite

Nic at Nite — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 13:18:17 +0000

I’m not a youth pastor nor do I ever think I’ll be one but I have taught and helped a lot with youth functions and I know how you feel man. I understand that you felt like a jerk but I think you did the right thing. It’s kind of like spanking our children, we don’t want to do it and we feel horrible doing it, but that’s what God calls us to do. And God has put you in the youth pastor position with authority and the youth need to understand that. Sometimes in a very stern way, like you did to that young man.

Another thing you could have done is after it was all done, just simply talked to the youth and explain why you did what you did. That’s the difference in disciplining in love, a parent or authority figure actually explains what the offense was and for it not to happen again. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You’re forgetting you have authority as a youth pastor so use it correctly. Satan tries to tell us we don’t have authority as Christians or as parents, when we do and if we don’t accept the authority God gives us, then we’re really disobeying Him.