Sometimes discipline takes different forms. My kids have picked up some very frustrating habits from school. They learned to offer their friendship for favors, “if you do this I’ll be your friend.” They also learned to withhold love and friendship as a way of expressing frustration. “You were mean so I’m not your friend anymore.” We have worked hard to break these habits and tried teaching them that they should love everyone and treat people the way they want to be treated. Unfortunately just when we think that this is licked it rears its head in a new way.

My oldest loves to draw and expresses much of herself through 6 year old art. My wife found one of her latest art pieces recently. It was a girl with a frown and her sister’s name inside a heart with a big X through it. I’m sure you can understand the complex symbolism, but if you missed it I got form the artist that “she doesn’t love her sister.”

Now I could have spanked her, or given her a time out but that isn’t what she needed. We had a long and frustrating conversation. Sometimes, talking to 6 year old results in huge amounts of circular logic. We finally got to the heart of it, that her sister was being mean and she wanted to show how that made her feel. Then I took a crayon and turned that paper over. I wrote her name and drew a big heart around it. I asked what that meant. She correctly said “you love me.” Then we talked about how that made her feel, which is generally good. Then I put a big “X” through it and asked what that meant. She said “you don’t love me.” We talked about how that made her feel, which is generally bad, and how she thought her sister might feel about the other side of the paper. Next I took another piece of paper and wrote the names of all 4 kids and my wife. I asked her to tell me who each person was that I wrote down and then drew a big heart around all the names. I asked her what that meant and she said, “You love everybody.” I gave her a big hug and told her I love her very much no matter what she does.

After all that I asked what she wanted to do with the other piece of paper and she said “throw it away.” I gave it to her and she started tearing it into little pieces and threw it all away.

Have you ever had to deal with this? Any tips or suggestions for how I can teach my kids this lesson? Should I start taking up a collection for their inevitable counseling bills?

Also, don’t forget to participate in my not too twisted giveaway.

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Of course not all Christian buy into the lie and it seems that generally the more flagrant the lie is, the fewer people hold to it. I really don’t know anyone personally that believes the dinosaurs were planted by scientists to corrupt the world so I feel pretty good about the people I know. I do know many who have believed other lies until I was able to show them proof of the truth.

The question I asked two weeks ago was “why do we believe these lies?” I got a lot of great answers and I believe there is truth to them all. Generally I would say we believe and spread lies because we don’t know any better. If I give my children an apple and tell them it is an orange their whole life then they will call and apple and orange. Of course it doesn’t make the apple into an orange and they will be mocked in school when they look at the flash card for “A” and loudly call it an orange, but it wouldn’t be their fault.

There is a reason why Paul says that people should not seek to be teachers and why Peter says we will be judged more harshly. It is our responsibility to find truth and to teach that truth. The problem is, straight up truth can be a hard sell, or at least that is what we think. Look at the news. They don’t just report the news they make it sensational because facts don’t bring in the dough. In pulpits around this country preachers are looking for the next great illustration, something to grab the congregation and fill them with awe. Monday morning the preacher reads about the not so scientific find I spoke about 2 weeks ago and it seems the prayers have been answered. No time to fact check just enough time to build a sermon around this nugget. The problem is, the nugget was only pyrite and not real gold.

I cannot blame the population at large for believing and spreading lies. We judge truth by the authority that spoke it. If you pastor says something is true then you are likely to believe him unless something of greater authority (in your mind) contradicts that truth. Some call this laziness, but in all honesty it is the human state. If a teacher proclaims a truth that you cannot verify on your own you will believe it even if it isn’t true.

This bring us back to the teachers, the authority that should bring truth. I fully lay the blame on them. In the case of the lie I spoke of before, it was printed in a Christian text book. This is not acceptable. It should not be preached or written by those tasked with keeping the truth. If we fail to fact check something and it turns out to be a lie then we are responsible.

Now I understand that there are times when a pastor or teacher might fact check only to find out later that the cited sources are bogus. This is the simple truth, if we mess up even through no fault of out own then we need to set it straight. That is the burden of authority and it cannot be shirked.

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