Comments on: Not so Ninja

By: Ginny (MAD21)

Ginny (MAD21) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 14:04:42 +0000

Personally, I would just continue to do what you are doing. Remember why you chose to work with this age to begin with. Also remember that they are not there to follow you, but to follow Christ. I doubt that they are leaving campus because of you, but because that's what teens do… think of what they'd rather be doing–not sitting and listening to someone talk to them, but to hang out with friends. I would definitely make sure they know that you know what they are doing, and that you do not approve. Follow whatever policies you have in place. But the last thing I would do is turn them away or tell them not to come anymore (unless there is a safety issue). You never know, they might catch you saying something within the few minutes they are there that will change their lives. All you can do is be the conduit for God to speak to them. They have to be willing to receive that love, however. Don't turn them away. They need you to show them the face of Christ.

By: Nick the Geek

Nick the Geek — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 13:15:35 +0000

More than anything I wish that the parents of these teens would step up. They have been called in the past but somehow don't think it is their problem. One parent in particular blames everyone but herself and her son. It is sad 🙁

By: Nick the Geek

Nick the Geek — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 13:13:38 +0000

I know I responded to you yesterday, but it seems that ID occasionally drops comments. Maybe it is moderated for some strange and stupid reason. Anyways, I'm glad we haven't had to make any students sit with our leaders yet, but a couple have come close. With 40-50 it is easy for me to see everyone and call them out if there is a problem. For the past few weeks I've been taking their cell phones if they use them. They are either getting better and hiding them or are finally learning that they can live without it for 30 minutes. Our setting makes it very difficult. We meet in the youth building but generally most of our time is spent outside because the building is a bit small for 50 students. It's fine for preaching/teaching but not so much the chaos of just hanging out. We have been ramping up our security and incorporating the students who are ready to step up is a great idea. Thanks.

By: Nick the Geek

Nick the Geek — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 22:05:10 +0000

I completely agree that most students, if not all, want boundaries. This has been shown in many studies and in my own experience I've found it to be true. A while back I participated in a kind of open forum with students about drinking problems among underage students in our community. In this more than one student expressed that they need parents who will set rules and fairly enforce them. I wonder if the parents took that to heart?

By: Nick the Geek

Nick the Geek — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 22:02:51 +0000

I'm afraid it might come to this point with a couple of the students. I don't want to, but I can't sit by quietly while they hurt themselves.

By: Nick the Geek

Nick the Geek — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 22:01:42 +0000

Bridget, Like I told you on your blog. Stay after those kids. They will thank you later even if it drives them crazy now. That said most of them don't do this kind of thing. We have about 90% staying.

By: Nick the Geek

Nick the Geek — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 22:00:33 +0000

Jake, we are trying to beef up our security for many reasons but there are some problems with the physical setting that make it harder. Fortunately we haven't had to sit with any students to teach them how to behave in service yet … I shouldn't even mention it for fear it might happen.

By: Candy

Candy — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 21:58:30 +0000

As mother to two boys who would have been the ones to bail, I firmly believe that teens thrive on and feel secure in discipline. With consequences, of course. That being said, the parents need to care enough to do so. I like Steph's idea of calling the parents. Several times I surprised my boys when I showed up where they were after having received a much appreciated phone call. What they really hear is "I care and I love you" though it really honked them off at the time. And then there's always duct tape. They usually got that when they got home.

By: Nick the Geek

Nick the Geek — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 21:57:57 +0000

Thanks. As a student what would help you?

By: Nick the Geek

Nick the Geek — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 21:57:25 +0000

I have asked the van driver not to bring a couple of the kids that have been hoping on and then leaving. The parents started bringing them so we are going to have to have a sit down. I'm really dreading that with one of the parents who thinks her little boy is perfection when he is shaping up to be a regular thug.