I spent the day at the Apple Blossom Festival. I just want to say that spending all day looking at crafts is not in my top 10, not even close. Normally I will do pretty much anything to avoid it. However, spending all day with my family is in my top 10, even if it means looking at crafts all day.

The day was just gorgeous, 70 degrees and sunny. My oldest son was at another event and my youngest daughter was with someone else for the first part of the day, they got there shortly before we had to leave, so mostly this was time with some friends and my oldest and youngest.

I can say I learned a few things. First, I need to take more time with my family. I try to spend time with the kids every day, but I don’t often have a whole day with the family. There is so much that needs to happen, church stuff, design and development, and stuff around the house. That kind of stuff just eats up time.

Second, it is hard to focus on my family. I think this is related to the first thing I learned. The whole day I was fighting those things that say “hey I’m super important, don’t forget me.” I wanted to get work done because I’m already behind, but I did try to stay in the moment. Part of how I did that was taking lots of pictures.

I mean LOTS of pictures. You can see them below.

As far as the day goes, we got up there and started looking at crafts, I’ll admit there was some really cool stuff. I didn’t take pictures of the crafts though, that isn’t what I was interested in. The only thing that really stood out to me was a woodworker booth. He had tons of wooden toys, trains, boats, cars, firetrucks … I really thought about buying a couple for the boys, the prices were really reasonable, but I’m not sure they are ready for something that nice. Then I got to looking at the rubber band guns. I don’t’ know if you remember the old school ones, with a couple of clothes pins to hold teh rubber bands back till you are ready to fire. Well these are significant upgrades that can hold multiple rubber bands and use a rotating firing mechanism. There wre pistols, riffles, and several other options, including a massive gattling gun with a rotating crank capable of firing over 100 rubber bands.

I was told no, then we looked at more crafts, bought the kids a few small things, and then took them down to the park next to teh event for a break. It is one of the nicest parks ever. We’ve taken our kids there a few times, and it seems like they keep adding new things.

Then we went back to the craft show for a bit longer, got some treats, and headed home. Please enjoy the images.

Some months, well actually years, ago we began a quest for a new to us vehicle. We had certain requirements of this vehicle. It must have room for the family, which limited us to vans, minivans, and certain SUVs with a third row. It also much have better than 25mpg fuel economy, which basically narrowed it down to just tow vehicles. The Mazda 5 and the Toyota Highlander Hybrid. We looked into the Mazda 5 first, since it cost less. For a while we felt this would have to be the car, but God blessed us with some extra money, so we began looking for a Highlander Hybrid within our budget. Seeking a very nice car costing less than $25k in an economy where everyone wants the best fuel mileage is a difficult task. We found several prospects in the past few months, but they were sold before we could even call about them.

We also found several that were black, and I really didn’t want a black vehicle after the last one. I really didn’t like the fact that you could wash and wax the car and have it looking dirty in minutes. There were some around that were great deals, but priced closer to $30k, which we could afford but I just didn’t want to spend that much on a car at this point in my life.

A few days ago I had all but given up hope. I did the math on the fuel savings and just couldn’t justify the cost we would have to pay for the hybrid, so I began a search for the regular highlander, figuring I’d start researching fuel economy again and wanted to use that as a base comparison. Then I saw 3 vehicles returned with the hybrid engine on the regular Highlander search. All 3 were in the price range, one was white, not the worst but not the best, one was black, which I skipped automatically, and one was blue. The exact color I really wanted. I know that color is the least determining factor, but the mileage was well under my max (52k) and the price was great ($21k) so I contacted the dealer to verify it had the third row (once before I though I found the perfect vehicle, but it didn’t have the third row as advertized). Oh Happy Day! It had the seating we needed. Teh car fax was available and all maintenance was done at the dealership and recorded. This vehicle sounded perfect, so we drove over 2 hours just to look.

Fortunately we found everything to be exactly as we required, maybe not every bell or whistle, but everything we needed. It took forever to get the paper work done, with drive time it took nearly 12 hours to complete the purchase and return home, but we have a new to us vehicle. Here are a few pics I took this morning when the sun came mostly out of the clouds.

Had one of those weird waking dreams just as I fell asleep last night. Usually it takes a while before I hit dream level sleep, but last night I think my eyes were still open as I saw two guys walking through the wall I was facing then one pointed a gun or something at me. I yelled “Holy Frak!!” Not in my dream I actually yelled it. Freaked out my wife big time.

So it turns out my dreams must have a network censor or something.

Almost 12 years ago I married the love of my life. We had a wedding photographer we affectionately call the wedding Nazi. I’m not a big Seinfeld fan, but I’ve seen a few episodes. In one there is a “soup Nazi.” You might be familiar with the line “No soup for you!” That is what this photographer was like. His assistant tried to burn the place down, knocked over a candelabra while trying to get into a better shot.

Anyways, long story short, here are some pictures from that wonderful day. Enjoy.

I had 3 years of college under my belt and several counseling classes, so I know everything I needed to know, of course. Well, ok I might have known that there were still things to learn, so we went through premarital counseling. The sessions were great and I knew we were now fully prepared for marriage. Funny how your perspective changes the first time life falls apart, and trust me, it really does.

About two years ago I met a young lady for the first time. She was a junior in high school at that time and I got her name wrong before she even told me. I had thought she was someone else, but hey I had only been in town for a short time, so I was still getting to know a lot of people. Over the past two years I have taught her and tried to set a good example for her. She had many ups and downs, but in general she has grown in Christ more and more.

Then she shocked me by asking me to officiate her wedding. I was completely unprepared. I have officiated a few weddings, but this is the first student of mine that has come to this point in life. Of course I didn’t believe her for the longest time. Finally I guess my will relented and I accepted that she was telling the truth about getting married, so I started planning counseling with her and her fiancé.

I hope and pray that I can give them the same tools that my wife and I had, moreover I hope I can help them to see that no amount of studying can prepare for the tests life gives. I know when my wife and I went through the worst that we have endured so far, nothing I had learned before could have made it any easier.

The biggest thing I hope and pray for them is that the day they get married be the day of their marriage they love each other the least. That each day they would grow deeper in love.

What advice would you give a young couple getting married?

Seriously though, we have a good strong marriage but this is because we attend things like the AGME weekend. I have shared in the past that I believe a couple must value their marriage and a big part of that is spending time building a stronger relationship.

This past weekend was great for so many ways. We got to spend it together without ministry or the kids. I love both but we do need time away for just each other. to make things better we stayed at a nice hotel right on the beach at Virginia Beach. The weather was almost perfect. The water was a bit cold, which is to be expected this time of year, but it was sunny and comfortably warm all weekend. Our room was ocean side so we got to watch the ocean a lot. I also got some great fish tacos, which I’ve been craving.

The AGME focuses on a single mode of communication, and it really helped us to talk about some areas that we haven’t been able to deal with this weekend. I feel closer to my wife and that is always good. The mode of communication is about writing letters to each other. Of course most people know that this helps to formulate words so you are less likely to say things you will later regret. Then talking about the letters together.

I would personally recommend a AGME weekend to any married couple. Especially if the others have such a nice location.

Have you attended any kind of marriage retreat or seminar? Did they help build a strong marriage? What important thing did you learn/experience?

A couple of the students were asking what it meant and I explained it. I talked about my first real relationship. I talked about how quickly I fell in love and how much it hurt when she broke-up with me, how great it felt when she came back and how much worse it hurt when she left again. It was a couple of months before I was ready to date again and then I really wasn’t ready. I went through a series of insignificant relationships. I never dated a girl for more than 3 weeks and immediately broke-up with them if they started acting too lovey. When I started dating the future Mrs_theGeek she pursued me. She was cute and seemed nice so I didn’t push back. She told me she loved me and I literally told her she didn’t. It took months before I would let her say she loved me and months more before I said it back.

I had been broken and hurt even without sex. That’s the thing with relationships. We get involved and get hurt and don’t want to be vulnerable.

The change in my life didn’t come from the future Mrs_theGeek. I would have run the first time she said she loved me if I hadn’t already changed. God began a work in me. It didn’t change me completely over night but with time I become vulnerable again. I stepped out of my fortress and opened myself to Love.

God is good and He wants us to be open and vulnerable because we need Him and each other. That takes openness and vulnerability.

It does do a pretty good job of blending it into a modern American tale though. Throughout the story various mythical creatures make appearances and most blend into their setting well. For example, ***Spoiler Alert*** Percy must overcome the cult of the Lotus eaters (from the Odyssey) in a Las Vegas casino. End Spoiler There are several other examples of these new versions of ancient myth set in America. Many are picking at American culture in a light and fun way so I really enjoyed the movie.

One word of caution. This is ancient polytheistic mythology. There is, in my opinion, no tie in to Christian theology. In the first 5 minutes of the film Poseidon comments to Zeus about them being omnipotent. This is a serious breach of the proper understanding of the word. Percy is not even remotely a Christological type and should not be thought of in this way. Paul, when addressing the scholars on Mars hill, does not try to use their myths to try and explain Christ. He uses the setting and their religious mind set as a point of common ground to introduce them to the One true God.

For strict entertainment purposes I feel that this was a good movie, but not something I would let my young children watch. It did have some scary moments and the theological perspective is not what I feel my kids are ready for. In a couple of years when I can sit down and talk these issues through with my oldest in a more logical manner then I wouldn’t see this as being problematic, but for a 6 year old it just doesn’t fly with me.

***

For one human being to love another that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks; the ultimate, the last test and proof; the work for which all other work is but preparation.

~Rainer Maria Rilke

Love is eternal where lust is temporary. This is a plain and apparent fact as easily seen as the nose on my face, which is quite noticeable from even a great distance. The problem comes when one confuses love and lust. Often people claim to be “in love” only to “fall out of love,” but in truth they were “in lust” which is as easy to fall in to as it is to fall out of. Consider the relationship between a parent and child. This should be our basis for understanding love because it is our first experience with love. Each party must fail severely and often before love might fail. Parents who truly love their children do so regardless of the choices the child has made and regardless of how painful those choices might be. Often terrible parents are loved by their children regardless of how much it hurts for that love to not be returned. Imagine if all relationships were so pursued.

Since love will always outlast lust, the lover must take time for lust to fade so that love might grow just as a great tree must grow slowly until the weeds around it die and it can be in full sun and grow great and true; then nurture that love through respect and care. Only after those first joys of lust have passed will a couple experience true love in their relationship, the kind of love that exists beyond the hurt and pain.

It is also true that love is patient and perseveres in all things. This is why waiting for love is the only way a relationship may endure. Often a person says to another, “If you love me you will …” but the truth is that if love exists, it will be patient and forgiving. Lust demands instant gratification where love will carry through to the end. Lust is a sprinter that expends all his energy in seconds while Love is in a marathon race and she knows to keep an even pace throughout so she will not tire too quickly or stumble in the many rough places along the way.

This is why so many relationships fail, love gets confused with lust. When those feelings of joy and giddiness fade the energy of lust is spent while love is just getting started. Love must be given time to grow in the absence of lust or it will never reach its maturity. This is a difficult process because lust is passionate and intense driving a couple to spend time together where love is kind and gentle liberating a couple to their own interests. In this, individuals growing in love must overcome themselves and spend time with their love so they might experience a deeper understanding of love. If the lover were to say to the beloved, “I just do not love you anymore,” the lover is lost in confusion. The lover meant to say, “I no longer lust after you.” Love is an endless ocean and lust is a desert wash. The rain will cause the wash to overflow and rage intensely but once the water has flown into the ocean the wash cracks with the desert heat. Follow the water into the ocean and love will never run dry.

In this season of love, consider that love gives while lust takes. Take the time to seek out the gifts of love. The gifts of love are not available at the store but can only be found in time, empathy, and compassion. These true gifts thrive in love but suffocate in lust. When you look into those special eyes and say, “I love you” please do not lie to your heart.

I guess it is time for an introduction. My bride is Susan. She is not a geek, but she does love Science Fiction and Fantasy. We met when she was 15 and dated for 4 years before getting married. She was born and raised for a while in California. I like to joke about it but she was born on a farm. Technically she was born in a house on a chicken ranch that her grandparents managed in Mira Loma, CA. She still lived in CA when I was there as a young boy but moved to Arizona at 11 and then to Oregon at 14. June 18^th 1999 when she was 15 her family arrived in Oklahoma. The following day we met at Youth Camp. We are the exception that proves the rule.

We have had hard times including losing 3 children through miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy. Statistically we should have been driven to divorce but through it we have been driven closer together instead of apart. I wish I could figure out what makes our marriage work and give that to others, but the truth is we work because God holds us so long as we refuse to let go.

As I go forward I plan on writing more about my lovely bride and our marriage.