Last week was camp; it was a lot of fun. I got very little sleep, and did lots of stuff. Yesterday was my daughter’s 8th b-day. We went to the amusement park. It was lots of fun. We played very hard on very little sleep. Ever notice how the more fun you have the more you want to stay in bed for a long time? Seems unfair if you think about it.

The official title is The Bare Facts: 39 Questions Your Parents Hope You Never Ask About Sex and it was written with Erin Davis.  I didn’t know who Erin Davis was before this book came in the mail, but I had read a couple of things by Josh McDowell and took my students through a BlueFish.tv series by him as well.  Of course, the real reason I couldn’t pass the book up is because of the topic.  Let’s face it.  Sex sells.  I’ve written on the subject a fair many times here, and they tend to be the most visited posts on my blog.  I talk about sex, and write about it, because media does so much to influence out culture with very destructive sex messages.  It is important to try and get good, uplifting messages on the subject of sex out there.  We just plain can’t hide it under the rug. I try to talk about this for at least one series a year, and I’m actually in the middle of that right now.  I’m going through another BlueFish.tv series, The Truth About Sex, with Doug Fields. I’ll be writing about that later. For now, let’s check out this book.

Just the Facts

As Joe Friday always said, just the facts. The book addresses 39 questions over the course of 126 pages. It is a reasonably quick read cover to cover. It is broken up into 6 sections by study questions, which are included at the end of the book. There are no pictures, but the publishers do use typography to set apart specific quotes, similar to the way a newspaper or magazine does. The book says “no question is off limits” and does deal with almost everything I’ve tried to answer for my students. It talks about abstinence, purity, and love. Often as far as any Christian book on the subject goes. It also discusses the real facts on STDs and “safe sex” as well as the emotional and mental response to sex, not just the physical. It even addresses anal/oral sex and other sexual practices commonly used to “preserve virginity” today and pornography and masturbation. I think the only think not really covered is same sex attraction.

High Marks

I have to give praise that they address some topics that I haven’t found much Christian writing on. For example, Hey Look Another Red Warning Post, where I ask if “fingering” is ok. I did a lot of searching and could find any Christian perspectives on this issue and others, which are in this book. I also like the way the book is broken up into chapters based on the questions. It makes it much easier to find specific answers. Curious what the most common STD is? Try the chapter “What is the most common STD?” It is also very important that the book uses frank and specific terminology. It doesn’t talk about weewees or hoohoos. This isn’t a “sex ed” type book, but they address real information factually. The discussion questions seem to be pretty solid, and are open ended, meaning better group discussion. The questions are formed like

In your opinion, who pays the highest price when sexual activity is not saved till marriage?

See, first you see that this is a question to opinion, allowing for a difference of thought and open dialogue. If you are looking for it, they avoid saying “sex” which might be limited to intercourse or having a partner. By saying “sexual activity” they are targeting a much wider range of thought and activity.

Needs Improvement

This book will make a great resource for groups planning on discussing this. There is a built in 6 week series. This book is not really written to appeal to teens in and of itself. I can certainly see myself using this as a resource, and if a teen asks a question I’m happy to give them a copy after talking with them, but I don’t see them really reading it. Part of this is because most students I know just aren’t into reading, and partly because those that do read, don’t read stuff like this. the look and presentation kind of remind my of my teen study Bible from 1992. I don’t mean it looks like something from the 90s, I mean it looks like that Bible looked to me back in the 90s. Like something made by someone trying to appear hip and cool. Maybe something in more of a magazine type look would help, but even then I just don’t think a huge number of students will really read this cover to cover. That said, I think they love to read and think about sex, and they will read key sections. They might wonder, “Isn’t it better if we live together first?” and open this book up to read that section. Like I said, this is a resource.

It might have helped if there were more “stories” in the book, not just “The Bare Facts.” Of course, then they would have to change the name of the book.

Plays Well With Others

As I said before, I’m currently going through a series with my students, and this book would make a great companion piece to the Truth About Sex series with Doug Fields. Of course, it would also go well with some of the past series I’ve done too. It addresses many of the same topics in similar ways, but with more facts to support what Doug Fields and the interviewed students are saying.

In Closing

I’m clearly not a good preacher, I had 4 points, not 3. Something must be wrong with me here. In any case, I would recommend this book to any leader that wants a simple resource for their own shelves or for small groups. I’d say get a few copies to give away to questing students. I’d also recommend to parents. It will help get you in the know about some stuff you are probably totally ignorant of. Seriously, the statistics will shock you, but you need to get a good dose of reality. Finally, if you are a student and want to know the answer to some really big questions about sex, but are afraid to ask your youth leader or parents, then don’t let me scare you away. This book is definitely for you too.

Oh, and one more detail, I have 2 copies to give away. If you want a copy leave a comment.  If more than 2 comments get left I’m going to use a highly scientific approach to choosing the winner. First, I’m going to randomly sort all the comments, then do eenie, meenie, minie, moe. Or maybe just go with the comment that makes me laugh, who knows.

Just gave the boy a haircut. He’ll be pretty comfy at camp. Now I’m wishing I had sometime to get mine sheered off. Oh well, at least my hair is long enough to put up for camp. Combined with my new shoes I ought to be plenty cool and comfy.

I spent the day at the Apple Blossom Festival. I just want to say that spending all day looking at crafts is not in my top 10, not even close. Normally I will do pretty much anything to avoid it. However, spending all day with my family is in my top 10, even if it means looking at crafts all day.

The day was just gorgeous, 70 degrees and sunny. My oldest son was at another event and my youngest daughter was with someone else for the first part of the day, they got there shortly before we had to leave, so mostly this was time with some friends and my oldest and youngest.

I can say I learned a few things. First, I need to take more time with my family. I try to spend time with the kids every day, but I don’t often have a whole day with the family. There is so much that needs to happen, church stuff, design and development, and stuff around the house. That kind of stuff just eats up time.

Second, it is hard to focus on my family. I think this is related to the first thing I learned. The whole day I was fighting those things that say “hey I’m super important, don’t forget me.” I wanted to get work done because I’m already behind, but I did try to stay in the moment. Part of how I did that was taking lots of pictures.

I mean LOTS of pictures. You can see them below.

As far as the day goes, we got up there and started looking at crafts, I’ll admit there was some really cool stuff. I didn’t take pictures of the crafts though, that isn’t what I was interested in. The only thing that really stood out to me was a woodworker booth. He had tons of wooden toys, trains, boats, cars, firetrucks … I really thought about buying a couple for the boys, the prices were really reasonable, but I’m not sure they are ready for something that nice. Then I got to looking at the rubber band guns. I don’t’ know if you remember the old school ones, with a couple of clothes pins to hold teh rubber bands back till you are ready to fire. Well these are significant upgrades that can hold multiple rubber bands and use a rotating firing mechanism. There wre pistols, riffles, and several other options, including a massive gattling gun with a rotating crank capable of firing over 100 rubber bands.

I was told no, then we looked at more crafts, bought the kids a few small things, and then took them down to the park next to teh event for a break. It is one of the nicest parks ever. We’ve taken our kids there a few times, and it seems like they keep adding new things.

Then we went back to the craft show for a bit longer, got some treats, and headed home. Please enjoy the images.

Some months, well actually years, ago we began a quest for a new to us vehicle. We had certain requirements of this vehicle. It must have room for the family, which limited us to vans, minivans, and certain SUVs with a third row. It also much have better than 25mpg fuel economy, which basically narrowed it down to just tow vehicles. The Mazda 5 and the Toyota Highlander Hybrid. We looked into the Mazda 5 first, since it cost less. For a while we felt this would have to be the car, but God blessed us with some extra money, so we began looking for a Highlander Hybrid within our budget. Seeking a very nice car costing less than $25k in an economy where everyone wants the best fuel mileage is a difficult task. We found several prospects in the past few months, but they were sold before we could even call about them.

We also found several that were black, and I really didn’t want a black vehicle after the last one. I really didn’t like the fact that you could wash and wax the car and have it looking dirty in minutes. There were some around that were great deals, but priced closer to $30k, which we could afford but I just didn’t want to spend that much on a car at this point in my life.

A few days ago I had all but given up hope. I did the math on the fuel savings and just couldn’t justify the cost we would have to pay for the hybrid, so I began a search for the regular highlander, figuring I’d start researching fuel economy again and wanted to use that as a base comparison. Then I saw 3 vehicles returned with the hybrid engine on the regular Highlander search. All 3 were in the price range, one was white, not the worst but not the best, one was black, which I skipped automatically, and one was blue. The exact color I really wanted. I know that color is the least determining factor, but the mileage was well under my max (52k) and the price was great ($21k) so I contacted the dealer to verify it had the third row (once before I though I found the perfect vehicle, but it didn’t have the third row as advertized). Oh Happy Day! It had the seating we needed. Teh car fax was available and all maintenance was done at the dealership and recorded. This vehicle sounded perfect, so we drove over 2 hours just to look.

Fortunately we found everything to be exactly as we required, maybe not every bell or whistle, but everything we needed. It took forever to get the paper work done, with drive time it took nearly 12 hours to complete the purchase and return home, but we have a new to us vehicle. Here are a few pics I took this morning when the sun came mostly out of the clouds.

Anyways, this post isn’t about alliteration or my laziness, it is about my kids.  Well not just mine, I’m also including my students in this as well.

We watched the show “Lemon-aid Mouth” with my kids the other day.  One of the main characters gets in trouble because she is wearing a shirt that says “Challenge Authority” and actually follows her own advice. This led to a discussion with my wife about how we should handle that.  She wasn’t too interested in the conversation because she assumed I would encourage this type of behavior and didn’t think she could convince me that I shouldn’t.

I hadn’t really thought about it before, but I don’t want to raise kids that are sheep.  I don’t want rude or rebellious kids, but I want them to be passionate and follow truth, not authority. Of course a lot of the time following truth means following authority.  Most laws are fair and just, they should be followed, but not all laws. If a rule needs to change for the betterment of all I want my children to know they can stand for right.

I want them to be the revolutionaries of their generation. Not in a violent way, more in the sitting in the front of the bus, standing up when everyone else sits kinda way.

I think the hard part is teaching them to express themselves in a way that promotes change but not hate. To help them find real truth and to follow that.  To encourage them to challenge authority, but not be rebelious.

Is this something parents should encourage in their children or should they teach them to keep their heads down so they don’t get cut down? How would you encourage right minded protest?

“Why is it called hamburger? It’s not from pigs and it isn’t made out of boogers. Those are the stuff up your nose.”

His little cry was so small and distant that when my wife told me he was here (I had stepped into the hall for less than a minute with my 10 month old daughter to call out friends one more time and missed him being born), that I didn’t believe her for the second time. I knew she was confused because the only baby I could hear had to have been down the hall. Then I saw this tiny baby (3lbs 6oz) through the nurses crowded around the heat lamp. That was the first time I saw him.

Over the next 6 weeks we had to drive to visit him, and it was a real struggle, but he kept fighting, kept getting bigger, kept getting stronger. Little man didn’t let being born too early slow him down all that much.

He is still pushing hard. He struggles with many things, a post for another day, and he is still willful and defiant, mostly in a good way. The other day I learned that I don’t enjoy all the educational experiences my children might have. I told him, and the other 3, not to play on the treadmill at a friend’s house. They had turned it on once already. A while later I heard it spinning up and I ran to them. When I came in I saw a pile of blankets (which I later learned were for “safety”) at the back of the treadmill and my son sitting on them. I barked at all the kids and turned it off again, unplugging the key once more. All of the sudden my 6 year old son started screaming. He had slipped and caught his hand on the treadmill. It removed a good size bit of skin from his hand, we ended up having to take him to the doctor over it. All in all he is fairing well, but…

We both learned something that day. He learned to listen if I say not to play on the treadmill ever again. I learned I don’t want to watch my kids learn the hard way.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUA-tGisDsg

Most kids like to play house or school. Admittedly my kids often play this game. They tend to entertain themselves and listening in usually provides more than a few chuckles. They argue about who the mom is and who is going to marry whom. My oldest is giving the others homework all the time. They also find ways of making the game more interesting for the oldest boy who is always looking for ways to fight the bad guy. When my kids play house someone will die because they are the bad guy.

Of course this all seems pretty normal compared to the trip home from school today. I don’t know where this came from but the whole way home the kids were playing “infomercial.” I got to hear my oldest daughter talking about how if you call right now you will get a free gift and if you log onto www.flowerpower.com/flowerpet you can play a free game. Remember “children don’t get online without your parent’s permission.”

This whole time my oldest son was shadowing her with his own version. I’m not totally sure what either of them were selling, but she kept talking about flowers and pets while he kept talking about firebombs.

The worst of it is that my daughter had the inflection down perfect as she was going through the script. I almost had to pull over from laughing.