One complaint at a time
Posted on 02. Dec, 2009 by Nick the Geek in All, Jesus Freak, Youth Pastor
I remember the movie “What about Bob?” If you haven’t seen that movie or don’t remember it then you might want to watch this clip.
Bob is completely neurotic but is learning to change with “baby steps.” Of course he doesn’t get it and this leads to some seriously stupid funny.
The thing is, grumbling and complaining doesn’t usually start big. I’m betting that they didn’t go from “Yeah, God is giving us food from Heaven” to “Manna again!?!?!? I’d rather eat me shoes than eat mana one more time” overnight. No it started small. Someone woke up and said “manna is nice, but I gotta say I’d like some meat to go with it.” He said that to himself a few times before he said it to someone else. Now he could have gone to Moses or whoever was setup over him in the system Moses setup but he started talking to someone else. That person was pretty happy to be eating food God setup for him every morning but he politely listened and maybe even tried to offer some words of advice and encouragement. After a few days of hearing the complaints he got tired of it but also started thinking that the manna was starting to taste a bit bland. Suddenly a virus of complaints took over and everyone was infected with dissatisfaction.
That’s the problem. We don’t see it till it’s too late because every step is a baby step. A handful of people are upset that something in the church isn’t quite right and a year later there is a church split because they didn’t talk to the pastor. They love the pastor and don’t want to offend him, or maybe they fear his anger. Whatever they know they can’t tell the pastor but they can’t keep it in. The grumbling begins to spread until people start to leave. That starts the rip and BAM church split.
Tonight I learned that one of my leaders told someone about something they heard … which has now come back to me. It isn’t directly about me, but ultimately it is. Now this apparently had been said a couple times before it got back to me and my problem isn’t that this person is wrong. They are right, but why didn’t they come to me directly? I’ve had this happen before with this person and a while back this person complained about the pastor to me. Nothing big but I told them to take it to the pastor.
Jesus and Paul both dealt with this and both said to go to the source first. That is the only way to resolve a situation.
Is there something about your pastor or church you are frustrated about? Have you talked to the people that can make a difference? Have you let idle words infect others? Am I overreacting?
Related posts:
- mmmmmmmm Angel Food Angel Food Ministries really needs a new name. I’m certainly...
- Grumpitude This week has been interesting. Over the weekend I went...
Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.
Helen
Dec 2nd, 2009
I think you make a good point. A person once complained to me about Fr. 's disposition, and I remarked that he has put in a lot of effort into being friendlier and has improved remarkably from the beginning. This got back to the pastor as "Helen said that when you first started, you were…" This happened years ago and it created a huge rift between my pastor and me. In fact, I had to ask a different priest to officiate at my wedding because of the hard feelings between us. I was hurt that he believed this other person (you know, the one who ACTUALLY badmouthed him) instead of me, and he was hurt that I could say such a thing. This priest is now dead. There is no fixing this relationship anymore. My point? If I had a time machine, I'd go back and say "Tell him what is bothering you. One of you may end up seeing things differently…" I bet that could get twisted too, somehow. Sigh.
Nick the Geek
Dec 3rd, 2009
Very sad that some people do this sort of thing. I think that some people pulled off this kind of division with my pastor and some of the congregation while pretending to be friends on both sides … That's the kind of evil that makes you want to invest in a nice aluminum bat.
jasonS
Dec 2nd, 2009
Cool! I can see your comment section again! Site looks great too.
So yeah, it’s the little things that get us (and lead us to the big things). Nobody ever says “I wanna be a junkie when I grow up.” It’s the choices we make every single day…
Nick the Geek
Dec 3rd, 2009
I wanted to be a junkie, but I'm no where near my goal. Maybe someday. Working with my students will probably make it someday sooner rather than later.
katdish
Dec 2nd, 2009
I dig my pastor. No complaints. Since he and his wife are also among my closest friends, if something was bugging me I would talk to him about it.
Oh, and the new blog looks frigintastic.
Nick the Geek
Dec 3rd, 2009
Not many will talk to the pastors it seems. They are too worried about offending us and cause great offense because of it. Ironic.
Also thanks.